Blog Post #2 : Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

WHO said blood was thicker than money?

This conflict involved my dad and my uncle (my dad’s elder brother) over financial issues. When I was young, my family lived with my grandfather in a HDB flat owned by my father and grandfather, and my uncle had his own flat living with his family as well. After my grandfather died when I was five years old, my family continued to live in that flat. 7 years later, my dad decided to sell this 3-room flat and moved into a new 4-room flat.

During this time, my uncle brought up the issue of splitting up the money from the sale of the HDB flat and demanded fifty percent from it. It did cross my dad’s mind to give a portion of the money to my uncle and two aunts but certainly not half of it. This is because my younger sister and I were still young, hence the money was needed for the new house and any excess money was use to support our family. Whereas my uncle held a job and his children were all working at that point of time. The most disappointing issue was that he mentioned of severing all ties with my dad if he refused to give him half of it. In the end, my dad still did not give in.

My dad was resentful and felt absurd since my uncle had his own flat, and the flat we sold was not his anyway, why does he insist gaining half of it? Both my aunts did not demand anything except him. My uncle might felt enraged as well and not resigned to the arrangement my dad had made.

This dispute over money occurs because both of them have different values. My uncle is taking on his perception that it is reasonable for him to acquire half of it. My dad has his individual view of not giving half of the sum because he needs it to support the family since we are still young and thinks that my uncle desired too much.

Questions

1) If you were the dad in the context, how would you respond if the uncle approached you for the amount?

2) Is there any win-win solution to solve this conflict?

Blog Post #1: Effective Communication Skills

I think that developing effective communication skills are important to everyone as we communicate in our daily life. Effective communication is needed at home, at work, between friends and in a relationship. Hence it is a fundamental part of the common core. Well, it is important to be able to communicate both on a one-on-one basis and in a group context. Communication is not just about the words we use, but also our manner of speaking, body language and, above all, the effectiveness with which we listen.

As a student, effective writing skills are particularly useful when writing academic papers, reports, letters and emails, while effective oral skills are required during project presentations. As I will be entering the workforce in the near future, it would be important for me to learn to present myself well during interviews, build relationship with my colleagues and clients, and to communicate effectively with my colleagues. Even when I am giving tuition, good communication skills will come in handy in rapport establishment with my students.

Voice can be an intentional or unintentional communication of feeling. I believe that one way we can achieve effective communication skills is to develop our voice. During an interview, if we stammer when we say “I am confident in doing this job well,” might present doubts or nervousness to the interviewer instead of confidence and this definitely affect our performance. How we should vary our pitch, the tempo of the conversation and the volumes of our voices play a vital part as well, especially when we are talking to our family members, boy or girl friend and colleagues. Arguments and conflicts can arise if it is not handled appropriately.

Developing effective communication skills takes effort, but they can be learned in lifelong and hence, through this course, I hope I can acquire the skills and techniques that will aid me well in life.